понедельник, 20 октября 2008 г.

crosshouse ayrshire




Happy things today:

alex wanting to make up for saturday night
laughing in english
mr pagani is back
tasty stir-fry for lunch this week
good food day
got all my maths exercises right
only three periods tomorrow, two of which are good
not much homework
quiet night (mum home late)
time alone on balcony with paper+cigarette+watching storm come in
sent emails to editor of lastplanetojakarta.com and the press contact
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воскресенье, 19 октября 2008 г.

departamento de copan




Door de jaren heen word ik rijker en rijker ik heb eten een huis en verschrikkelijk veel liefde. Maar toch streef ik toch telkens naar dat ene jurk je wat ik zo graag wil hebben. Omdat het zo mooi is dat ik niet kan stoppen er naar te kijken. Maar als ik het dan heb en het is idd parachtig schaam ik me enorm ik besef me heel goed dat 95 van de wereld mijn geluk niet heeft en dat doet me werkelijk pijn omdat ik zie dat de meeste mensen dit niet beseffen. Ze zien niet de pracht van de natuur en dat van oude mensen doe het geluk hebben zo lang samen te zijn in vrijheid te leven en te kunnen zijn wie je bent. Als je dit leest denk dan even en besef je godelijke situatie alles waar je spijt van hebt is zo zonde omdat bijna alles in je leven door jou bepaalt kan worden. Doe je goed met je geld ben je zuinig met vrienden. Je kan alles worden wat je wilt is het geen je nu bent echt wat je wilde worden? denk eraan jij bent een van de enige op de wereld die bijna alles in de hand heeft. Geniet er van en nog ff dit:

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Baby let me begin this by saying to you how sorry I am for making you feel the way you have been feeling.� This certainly was not my intention to hurt you like this or have you feeling like you do.

It has been a typical Sunday here. Boring and more Boring lol.� It is on days especially like this that i think of what it is going to be like when you come to live here. I honestly cannot wait for that day to come.� Having Sunday roasts, sitting or laying down together, cuddling up together and listen to music or watching tv or a movie, going for walks (not that there are many decent walks over here but we can find some).

I miss you baby, I miss you while we are apart, I miss you here in this bed, being able to hold you, to touch you, to kiss you, to make love to you.� I know I have said it many times before but this place is not a complete home until you are here with me baby.� Days go by and I know that it means another day closer to being with you again, but this time apart is torture for both of us, it is so completely not fair that we are made to wait like this until we can be together again.

We WILL�be together though baby, of that I have no doubt. I long for that day to come when I wake up and know I am coming to the airport to pick you up without thinking in 2 or 3 weeks time I have to let you go again.� I get so excited to see you when I am on my way to pick you up, and my mind is so happy and overwhelmed with that thought.� Then my subconscience kicks in and reminds me it is only for a short time, and I hate that thought, that feeling, as I say when I think of leaving you, It always reminds me of seattle airport when the only time I got to speak to you was while I waited for the plane.

I dont think he was going to let me use his phone.� He asked while we were at the airport who I had wanted to call, I answered I only wanted to call my wife to say goodbye and tell her I love her, even now I as I am typing this a tear is running down my face thinking of that time.� I have gone through many trying ordeals in my time, many bad situations that I have hated, so many hard times, yet that day I got on that plane was the hardest.� I wasnapos;t even happy to be out of the detention centre because I knew I was leaving you,� I knew I was not going to be able to look at you in person for a long time, no more being able to see you walk in from work, no more being able to take care of you in person.

I know I have to look forward to our life together and not dwell on what has gone on, and I do for the most part, I keep in sight what needs to be done to make us happen, but every now and again I picture that day over and over again, that day and the day i got picked up,� As the car was pulling away from the house I looked back and saw you crying so hard, our lives were both ripped apart that day.� I don`t regret anything we have done, I just wish it could have been done in a less traumatic way.� I thank god for giving us our dreams of living over there and i especially thank god for bringing you into my life and everything you have brought out of me, and I thank god for you sticking by me through everything I have put you through,� I truly do not deserve you baby, and I know anyone else would have run a mile, and nobody else would have done the things for me that you have.

And now I am in a right ole state so i need to go clean myself up.

I�Love You Angel
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суббота, 18 октября 2008 г.

eyeballers counterstrike




I went to dog training today--left at 9 am, got home at 6. It was COLD out there Well, ok, mostly it was that it was windy and everyone was a wee bit underdressed. Iapos;ve been cold for 9 hours, though. BRRR. Now Iapos;m home, trying to warm up, and Iapos;m finding that Iapos;m completely exhausted from being so cold for so long. I just might have to crawl into bed soon.

I took Coal and Jubilee, and left Hunter at home--she still has staples in from a nasty fight she had with Danca 11 days ago.

I did obedience with Coal, then bitework with him and Jubilee. Well, calling it "bitework" with Jubilee is generous--she played tug with a rag. Both dogs did well, and I really like the way the trainer interpreted Coalapos;s training needs. He talked about how the situation made the dog FEEL. Like he actually cared what headspace the dog was in and wants to work to modify it so the dog will feel strong in doing what we want him to do, as opposed to him being beat down and only having ONE option of how to react. He talked about building confidence and strength in a situation, so if stressors come along (and they always do), then the dog will be comfortable in falling back to acting out of strength instead of fear and insecurity. I LIKE.

Jubilee lit up right away as soon as the first prey movement of the tug rag. She did great except she didnapos;t want him to touch her (pet her) while she was tugging. But sheapos;s got so much drive that she should work through that fairly quickly and fast become appropriately obsessed with the game of it.

The only thing is that it costs $50 per dog, per day. They usually training 2-3 weekends a month, Sat/Sun.
Iapos;m trying to figure out what I can afford. For sure, I canapos;t afford to train 3 dogs at once. Not unless they cut me a deal.

I have 3 new goals for now, though:

[b]1) Do a BH title on Coal at the clubapos;s trial in December. [/b]

A BH is a combined obedience/temperament test. Itapos;s a LOT of heeling with changes of pace and turns, heeling through a crowd, a sit out of motion, and a down out of motion with a recall, and finally a down stay for approximately 15 minutes while a 2nd dog works. This will be a moderate amount of work. He knows all the basics, but I need to extend timeframes, ask for a bit more precision, work for longer periods without rewards, and teach him how to sit and down out of motion (that means weapos;re heeling down the field and without stopping I tell him to sit and he sits and stays while I continue walking for another 20 paces.) The entire heeling routine is 50 paces up the field, 50 back, fast, slow, left turn, about turn, halt, right turn, then a figure 8 through a "milling" group of 4 people. After all the dogs doing this title do the obedience portion, we do 1 by 1 temperament tests, checking for calmness around a moving car, a biker with a bike horn passing, and walking out of site while the dog is tied. The dog is also expected to remain calm while a strange, neutral, dog walks past about 10 feet away.

[b]2) Do a BH on Hunter in December.[/b]

[b]3) Do a Schutzhund 1 on Coal in the spring. [/b]

Other good thing from today--I liked the people We laughed a lot and lots of talk.

Some of you may have heard me say that only one dog of mine has ever drawn blood on a person. Much to everyoneapos;s surprise, that "vicious" dog of mine is.... Nike. Little 55 pound, sweet, loving, couch potato Nike. Well, when I was working her, there were two times she bit a person hard enough to make them bleed. The first time was well deserved--the decoy decided to hit her in the muzzle for biting on the sleeve when she was supposed to be just guarding. This was a STUPID thing to do, both in action and "theologically" (as in it was counter productive to the training if it HAD worked)--and so she sliced open the webbing between thumb and forefinger. Nothing drastic, but Iapos;m sure it didnapos;t feel good.

The second time was when a friend of mine,John, had asked me if he could work Nike in bitework (as in put the sleeve on and let her bit him) so he could get some experience. Well, heapos;s a BIG guy--like 6apos;7"--but he was pretty inexperienced in being on that end of the leash. So I sent Nike in for a guard, and she decided he was too big and needed taking down a notch. She charged up to him and chest bumped him, and he must have done something to make her mad, so she jumped right up again and bit him in the upper arm above the cuff of the protective sleeve and kind of ripped the skin. No hard feelings and the guy knew exactly what had happened and why.

To my surprise he showed up today--it was fun to see John and his wife again--and we enjoyed talking. Then he went to work his dog in obedience. She was this tiny female Malinois, and when he corrected her for something, she turned and corrected him--she bit him in the groin. No, correction... She bit him in the nuts. We didnapos;t know about this at first, he did more obedience, but shortly after he finished, we found out John had gone over to the training director and asked him to look at his wound and tell him whether he needed stitches. So the two men went off into the woods to check out Johnapos;s wounded scrotum.

Verdict was: stitches are probably going to be a good idea. We had a fun time coming up with stories he could tell the ER doc about how he got a laceration on his scrotum. "Cut myself shaving." "Wife showed up at a bad moment." "I was climbing over a barbed wire fence." "My wife bit me." ...

Yay, training
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Wow, itapos;s been longer than�I thought since I posted. Itapos;s amazing how time slips by even when youapos;re not doing anything.

Actually, I have nothing new to report. I am still unemployed. The only things that have changed are the decreases in my bank account and self-worth. I feel more and more useless every day that I sit here on my ass.

In fairness, I have not just been sitting on my ass. I went to ACL festival, the entertainment law CLE course, and the New Kids on the Block concert (yes really, and it was�AWESOME). I�have written and recorded several songs which suck less than my old songs, and read a few books (Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman, This is Your Brain on Music by Daniel Levitin, A History of Sex by Reay Tannahill, and The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers). Iapos;ve also been working on a really interesting entertainment law project for Al involving an unauthorized celebrity impersonator. Itapos;s just that none of those things pay my bills.

I am on the verge of selling out. My interview for the job I really want continues to be postponed, and if I donapos;t take the bankruptcy law position Iapos;ve been sitting on, I may lose it. Iapos;m all about optimism and following your dreams and all that...but right now, my dream is turning from "I want to be a full-time entertainment lawyer" to "I want to eat" Iapos;ll let you know what happens.



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dork geek nerd test




In my last post, I spoke briefly about my new project (moving our website in-house before our host shuts us down) and how Iapos;m doing so on the LAMP (Linux, Apache, MySQL, PHP) platform. I questioned what distribution of Linux the geeks on my flist recommends, and 2 out of 2 replies recommended CentOS.

I did not go with CentOS because I couldnapos;t find a mirror that connected quickly or reliably enough. Granted, I could have looked a little harder but CentOS-- while highly recommended by two people whose Linux opinions I trust-- is an unknown commodity for me.

Given that my boss is not a Linux fan by any stretch of the imagination, I first decided to use something that had a touch of user-friendliness but was robust enough to use on the server; openSUSE-- which Iapos;ve used before-- immediately came to mind. Sadly, that experiment failed as the DVD ISO image didnapos;t download properly and the LIve CD install didnapos;t come close to having anything that was a dependency for anything that was a dependency for anything that was a dependency for Apache, MySQL, and PHP.

I should digress for a moment and state that Iapos;ve been a fan of Linux for... More years than I care to count. I started on a floppy-disk based distribution of Slackware, when the most advanced X Window Manager was FVWM and most systems actually ran TWM (if they had the luxury of X Windows at all.) Over the years, Iapos;ve played a number of different distributions including Slackware, Red Hat, and SUSE, but I always returned to Slackware. Itapos;s not the easiest distribution to work with, but itapos;s consistent, solid, and I know it.

I decided to bite the bullet and go with Slackware. I downloaded 12.1 (three CDs worth of ISO images) and within a few hours had the system up and running with Apache, MySQL, PHP, all configured to my tastes. I havenapos;t actually used Linux in a production environment for about three years, but I was surprised how quickly it all came back to me.

So. Now I only need to install Joomla, build some templates to match our site, and move over the content. Thatapos;s what Iapos;ll be doing next week.

After having to deal for so long with the MRP/ERP implementation that was nothing but painful, this project is a welcome break of fun. Insomuch as one can have a fun project at work. :)

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пятница, 17 октября 2008 г.

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I�started off the day ok, not exactly happy but I was glad that my cold is pretty much gone. I was just left with a sore throat. I didnapos;t like the fact that I had to put the dishes in the dishwasher since a) itapos;s not my day b) the dishes almost reached the ceiling But I have never nor probably ever like chores. I left, spent too much time getting lunch (it wasnapos;t even healthy) and was relieved to discover Iapos;m not working at all this week. I start working next Friday

I went to school and took my Biz law exam. I was so frustrated because I printed out a buttload of notes and it barely even helped with the scantron portion of the test. The IRAC section was cake, I actually enjoyed doing it. From there Stephanie and I went to the bookstore to take some kind of pick-me-up before math because if we didnapos;t, weapos;d probably pass out from boredom, frustration, and impatience. I had a No Fear energy drink which tasted really good and then I downed my 1 liter water bottle with my lays baked chips.

Math was dull as usual and it took all of my effort, and no doubt all of Stephanieapos;s, to not kill ourselves or the entire class. HOW DUMB CAN YOU BE?? We are learning REALLY basic math, itapos;s Math 130: Math for elementary school teachers. Well some of these kids should be IN elementary school.

After math I made some returns to Target and Petco, bought some healthy dinner from Jack-in-the-box and went to wash my car. I just vacuumed the den rug and while I took the recycleables out I nearly cut off my foot by smacking it into an old shoe polishing stand. Itapos;s all bleedy and hurting.


Iapos;m going to the gym but not until later because I like it when itapos;s empty. Iapos;m thinking about doing some running but I find it really boring and after 15 minutes I want OFF. Itapos;s not like I even continuously run for the 30 minutes that Iapos;m on the treadmill so I donapos;t burn that many calories. I have been swimming the past two days and Iapos;ve really enjoyed it. I burn WAY more calories swimming for 30-45 minutes than I do on the elliptical or treadmill. Itapos;s low impact and afterwards I sit in the jacuzzi for ten minutes. VERY relaxing :] I really see the difference all this exercising and eating right has made. My stomach (or at least the middle one) is barely protruding over my shorts/pants. I have a lower gut roll and itrsquo;s also smaller but I canrsquo;t wait until itrsquo;s all one flat surface In exciting progress news, I bought a underwear a size smaller (14/16) and it fits Irsquo;m hoping with the swimming that Irsquo;m doing Irsquo;ll be able to be a smaller bra size, 38B instead of a 40B. I will be able to buy bras anywhere.
Diana and I have a goal to be 20 pounds lighter by Christmas because we want to take family portraits of us three girls for our parents as their Christmas gift. That means I have to lose 2 pounds every week until mid December to meet my goal. Irsquo;m really excited I canrsquo;t wait to hit that 50lb mark

Thatapos;s all. Iapos;m just upset that itapos;s Thursday because I�have my English 102 9am class tomorrow for THREE hours. I get so antsy in that class but I want to know my midterm grade


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